Written by Rorri Geller-Mohamed, LCSW
July 7, 2018
Our Navigate To Happy Challenge just finished and one common theme that came up is how helpful it can be to have a new fresh way to look at a situation that you are experiencing. Sometimes when we are frustrated or angry at our partner it’s hard for us to really look at that situation from a different perspective. But by having a new way of looking at it, it opens up our opportunity to try new ideas and solutions to fix it.
A client I worked with struggled to get her father to accept her relationship with her partner. One of my suggestions to her was to take a step back and really check in about where his resistance was coming from. I wanted her to find out what he feared would happen if he welcomed her partner into the family. What was he really worried about? In his mind, what would her life look like if she and her partner stayed together? Also, what would his life look like? How might his life change? By looking at the problem differently, you are then able to work on coming up with solutions to those concerns and take steps to improve the situation.
As a therapist and relationship coach, a lot of the work that I do with clients is helping them to reframe the problem they are experiencing in a new way. Some of the ways that we do this are by taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, getting a better understanding of the problem from the other person’s perspective, and looking to see if it’s part of a negative pattern that impacts you.
So the next time you are going through a rough time or feeling completely stressed or frustrated, reframe the problem you are experiencing and watch a whole new world of solutions and ideas appear to show you how to move forward.
To new solutions.
We worry about saying the wrong thing which often keeps us silent, I’ve had the opportunity to speak to some white moms about issues of race and racism. Here’s what I took away from these conversations…
In family therapy, we are often working on how to resolve conflict, strengthen family relationships, and improve communication
It can be frustrating and hard when white people just don’t get it. How often this season have you heard white people in your life say you were being too “sensitive” or take things too “seriously” for?