Over the weekend, I co-hosted the first Interfaith Counselors Live: Share and Support, a live facebook event, where we discussed an interfaith couple’s dilemma and different approaches and ideas for resolving it. One of the themes that came up was life transitions and how common this is for people to sometimes to get stuck on issues as a couple during these times.
Big changes can be stressful on us. Whether you are starting a new job, moving in with your partner, getting married, having a child, or any other transition it can impact how you feel. It can be exciting and happy but also cause feelings of uncertainty and stress. And what often happens when we feel stress is that it can not only impact us but also impact those who are closest to us like our partner. Sometime we may not even realize we are doing it in the moment but we can take it out on our partner. That can often end in tension or conflict that then just builds on our stress.
So what can we do to make transition times easier when we have major life changes:
- Be easy on yourself. Adjust your expectations. Don’t expect for everything that you usually get done to get done and be the same way it always is. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself or your relationship for things to be a certain way. Remind yourself that things will go back to normal but now is not the time to expect that to happen.
- Communicate with your partner. Talk about how you are approaching this big transition and what you can both do to support each other. Decide ahead of time how to de-escalate and deal with challenges that may come up when you are under extra stress. This helps to prevent any big blow ups at each other.
- Live in the moment. Remember that transitions are only temporary and it will pass. Lean into the positive aspects of the transition. You only get this moment once so make the most of it.
- Take a step back. Look at the bigger picture. Think about what initiated this change and what the bigger hope or goal was from it.
- Practice self-care. Do your best to take good care of yourself during this time. Exercise even something simple like taking a short walk after a busy day. Eating right to make sure that you are keeping yourself healthy during this time. Also, doing your best to get enough sleep.
So if you are going through a big transition, keep in mind that it is only temporary but that it can be very helpful to have support. Be open with your partner, family, and friends that you can use a extra support during this time. If you notice that your transition time is lasting longer than you hoped or that it feels very overwhelming, you can also reach out for help from a counselor. Don’t let yourself stay in a difficult space for too long when you don’t need to. There are so many emotions that big changes in your life can bring up. Communicating with your partner is key in helping your relationship thrive during those times.
What about your relationship? What can you do to prepare your relationship now to handle life changes in the future?
To thriving in transitions,
P.S. Are you looking for ways to strengthen your relationship, move forward, or get unstuck? Here are a few ways I can help:
- Join my FREE U Power Change Community on Facebook to get relationship tips, advice, and meet other people in a similar situation.
- Join my revamped Mix Match and Blend Relationship and Family program to help couples at a crossroad in their relationship move forward. Strengthen your relationship with your partner and your family as you navigate your way to a happy life and long lasting relationship.
- Schedule your free relationship consultation with me. We’ll meet for a short video call where you can tell me about your relationship struggles and challenges and I can provide you with my perspective, recommendations, and how I might be able to help. Send an email to Rorri@upowerchange.com with the word CONSULT in the subject and I’ll contact you to set it up.