Am I doing this right?

Written by Rorri Geller-Mohamed, LCSW

August 24, 2019

“Am I doing this right?” We all have asked ourselves that before as parents in the way we are parenting and raising our kids. We second guess our decisions, analyze conversations we had with our children, and even sometimes compare it to how someone else is raising their children. We all want the best for our kids and to be the best for them. That’s what makes us question if we are “doing it right.” We have so much worry that we might be getting it wrong and what that would mean for our kids. We also know that as parents raising kids in a multiracial family there are additional things we have to consider when we think about what our kids need. How do you know if you are doing this parenting thing “right”?

1. Think about what “doing it right” means to you. What does “doing it right” look like? How would you know if you were “doing it right?” What aspects of your parenting are you questioning? What areas do you feel more self-conscious about or vulnerable about? What could you do to feel more confident about it?

2. Look at your child’s behavior. Their behavior can tell you a lot about how they feel. Are there any behaviors that have you concerned? Do they interact well with peers? Do they seem generally overall well-adjusted to their daily routine and life? Do they spend a lot of time by themselves or in their room? Do you feel like they hide things from you or do you feel like they are pretty open?

3. Ask your child directly. If they are old enough to express their opinions ask in an age-appropriate way while taking it with a grain of salt. Letting your child tell you what they think you are doing well and what they think could make things better or improve your relationship can give you a lot of clarity. Just because they are saying it doesn’t make it true but it will let you know how they are feeling.

If it feels like things have been off lately and that parenting hasn’t been going as well as you hoped, it’s never too late to change that trajectory. Identify which areas you have been struggling with and figure out a plan to improve. Reach out to your support system if needed.

Remember it’s not about “doing it right” but about providing what our kids need to thrive.

To showing up as our best selves for our kids.

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